As Jen’s maternity leave was coming to an end, we were unable to get Jack into daycare. Most places just laughed at us and told us that we should have put him on a waiting list when we found out he was coming. After some deliberation we decide that it would be best if Jen opened a daycare in our home. This decision was not at all supported by Paul, who has crippling shyness.

When the daycare was finally opened, Paul came around, he often neglected his morning routine to play with the daycare kids. She has a 2 year old and a 4 year old. As I learned about FASD I kept reading that their mental development is behind other children. This was clearly illustrated by watching Paul’s interactions with the young children in the daycare environment. Watching Paul interact with the 4 year old, his behavior is strikingly similar. They pout, sulk or cry when made to share. Although I will admit that the 4 year-old has a much easier time with it. They are both hyper-active, although Paul has decided that he doesn’t like the 4 year-old because he is hyper. He would often point out things that he didn’t like about the way the 4 year-old was acting. The irony is that everything he was pointing out were things that he still did himself. There were a couple of times when he would point out something that he had just done himself. As his dislike increased he would try to pit the two kids against each other. He would get one of them interested in a toy he was playing with and then give it to the other one, just to watch them fight. After a couple of weeks of working with Paul, he moved on and was able to put it behind him. We would gently point out the last time that he had behaved the same way, and after a while he stopped complaining.

Both children were told that they would be at the daycare when they were home from school, as they are both too young to be left unsupervised all day. On the first in-service day Jen had to give her first time-out, to Paul. They had been playing a game of memory with cards, and Paul resorted to cheating in order to win. He had a meltdown when he was caught, he insisted that he shouldn’t have to play by the rules because he is older.

I had a hard time seeing some of the areas Paul has trouble with until I saw it in action. There were some that were clear, like the meltdowns and the tears, but the trouble that interacting with younger children really makes it all clear.

~Living With Paul