This is dedicated to Paul (not his real name) and the thousands of children like him, born with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder).

Like too many children Paul’s birth mother drank while she was pregnant, leaving him with a disability that is largely ignored by society. Paul is 12 now, and in six short years he will be deemed an adult. Because of FASD Paul has a hard time understanding abstract concepts that most people take for granted like time, money and consequences.

Watching Paul as he grows and interacts with others, I have allot of worries about his future. Sadly based on the statistics for adults with FASD it is not very likely that my worries are unfounded.

That is why I have started this blog, to document my life with Paul. I am not an expert, or a doctor, but rather a parent who has to have some hope. Maybe I won’t be able to help my Paul, but if something I write here is of any use to anyone, then I will have not wasted my time.

I am starting this a couple of years in, now that I have some small understanding of Paul and FASD. So I will be posting things from the beginning of this journey, as I think that there is allot we can learn from our mistakes.

While the road hasn’t always been easy I think that it is worth sharing. FASD is often referred to as the invisible disability, so I am trying raise awareness through this blog. It is my hope that by sharing Paul’s successes and failures, other parents of children with FASD will find encouragement, or at least be able to take solace in the fact that they are not alone.

Like many parents struggling to cope with FASD, I am not Paul’s birth Father, but have chosen to do my best to raise him. All of my friends have criticized my decision to raise Paul, but if not me, then who?

I think that is an important question for anyone considering adopting a child with FASD. As i have stated I am not qualified to give advice or pass judgment, but I will offer the following:

Dream Big

If there were ever a time to dare,
to make a difference,
to embark on something worth doing,
it is now.
Not for any grand cause, necessarily—
but for something that tugs at your heart,
something that’s your aspiration,
something that’s your dream.

You owe it to yourself to make your days here count.
Have fun.
Dig deep.
Stretch.

Dream big.

Know, though, that things worth doing seldom come easy.
There will be good days.
And there will be bad days.
There will be times when you want to turn around,
pack it up, and call it quits.
Those times tell you that you are pushing yourself,
that you are not afraid to learn by trying.

Persist.

Because with an idea,
determination, and the right tools,
you can do great things.
Let your instincts,
your intellect,
and your heart guide you.

Trust.

Believe in the incredible power of the human mind.
Of doing something that makes a difference.
Of working hard.
Of laughing and hoping.
Of lazy afternoons.
Of lasting friends.
Of all the things that will cross your path this year.

The start of something new brings the hope of something great.
Anything is possible.
There is only one you.
And you will pass this way only once.

Do it right.

—-
Author Unknown

~Living With Paul